Dear Momiji
by Arsahi
Summary: Kusanagi's dead. He wrote his life story down for Momiji because he never told her. This is his life story. *Chp 1 up*
1. Prologue

**Title**: Dear Momiji  
**Part**: Prologue  
**Author**: Arsahi  
**Rated**: PG-13  
**Notes**: This story is written in second person (first person talking to you). You'll see what I mean when you start reading. Also, forgive any timeline errors. I watched the entire Blue Seed DVD set in two days ^^;;; Therefore may get my events a bit blurred. One more thing: this entire fic uses the ever-present psuedo-Japanese. Just common phrases like "gomen", "arigatou", "ohayo", "hai" ("ojou-chan" means "little girl")...and then there's also there two phrases:  
_"Atashi no namae wa Fujimiya Momiji desu."_ - "My name is Momiji Fujimiya."  
_"Boku wa kimi no mamoru desu."_ - "I am your protector."  
  
**~*~ Prologue ~*~**  
  
Dear Momiji,  
  
    If you are reading this letter, then I have died protecting Kasahiko and Katori. The contents of this package will (hopefully) fill you completely in on exactly who Kusanagi Mamoru was. If you have any questions, ask Kasahiko or Katori. I will have told them "random" things with my dying breath. First and foremostly, remember that I love you, no matter how fondly I may speak of Kaede in here. Remember that I love you, I love you and Kasahiko and Katori.  
  
    You may want to give the first part about what I remember of becoming an Aragami by Oroboshi-no-Oroboshi to Matsudaira-san. It may just irritate her that I never gave her anything but a written account but at least it will be something besides the survey she asked me to fill out.  
  
    Enclosed is the one mitama we shared. Katori has the other seven. Along with the mitama is my life story, up until the day before I died.  
  
    I love you with all my heart.  


Mamoru

  



	2. C1 Boku no Namae

**Title**: Dear Momiji  
**Part**: C1 (Chapter One) - Boku no Namae (My Name)  
**Author**: Arsahi  
**Rated**: PG-13  
**Notes**: This story is written in second person (first person talking to you). You'll see what I mean when you start reading. Also, forgive any timeline errors. I watched the entire Blue Seed DVD set in two days ^^;;; Therefore may get my events a bit blurred. One more thing: this entire fic uses the ever-present psuedo-Japanese. Just common phrases like "gomen", "arigatou", "ohayo", "hai" ("ojou-chan" means "little girl")...and then there's also there two phrases:  
_"Atashi no namae wa Fujimiya Momiji desu."_ - "My name is Momiji Fujimiya."  
_"Boku wa kimi no mamoru desu."_ - "I am your protector."  
  
Kasahiko and Katori will be explained later. I also hope that this isn't too dry, it's my first first-person anime fic.  
  
**~*~ C1 - Boku no Namae ~*~**  
  
One day, after my first birthday, maybe before, my parents-whom-I-don't-remember set me in front of Oroboshi-no-Oroboshi. I remember it was a bright day, semi-warm. A few leaves scattered around. It must have been autumn, maybe the tail-end of summer. I remember my parents took me to a shrine by a lake because I remember the sparkling water, the cicadas, and the gentle breeze.  
    Oroboshi-no-Oroboshi looked _huge_. As tall as the trees he stood between, all I saw was heads, necks, and scales. I don't remember exactly what he said to my parents, or how they knew him exactly.   
    "This is him?" Oroboshi-no-Oroboshi boomed. His voice hurt my ears, but I didn't cry.  
    "He is my son," one of my parents answered. "Does he suit your purposes?"  
    "He does not cry," one of Oroboshi-no-Oroboshi's head's commented, looking straight at me.  
    "Does he suit you?" my parents asked again.  
    Oroboshi-no-Oroboshi examined me quickly, utilizing his eight heads to his advantage. "Hai."  
    I heard my parents walk away, too transfixed on Oroboshi-no-Oroboshi to watch them leave. I stared intently at him, barely blinking, hardly breathing.  
    As he imbued me with the mitama, I floated, engulfed completely by a sky blue light. A mitama on top of each foot, on the top of each hand, and three on my chest. While he infused my seven mitama with my body, he programmed me with these words:  
    "**Protect the Kushinada.**"  
    Protect...protect the Kushinada...?  
    "**Protect the Kushinada.**"  
    Protect the Kushinada...?!  
    "**Protect the Kushinada."**  
    Protect the Kushinada!  
    My mission in life. My only purpose, bestowed upon me by my master, the Oroboshi-no-Oroboshi. A mission I would spend the majority of my youth trying to run from it. Momiji...just consider this: if I haven't spent the point from where I realized I was _much_ different from anyone else except Oroboshi-no-Oroboshi trying to escape, I would have manifested into something horrible like Murakumo. I wouldn't have met you. I would still be protecting Kaede, or had helped her assimilate with Susano-oh.  
    I would have gone on for the rest of my life not knowing what it felt like to have the rest of my soul. The other half of my soul lies in you, and I didn't even realize it until you contacted me that one night in Izumo.  
    However, I noticed that I grew up faster than other people, thanks to my seven mitama. As soon as I achieved the mentality to make proper decisions, Oroboshi-no-Oroboshi taught me how to locate the Princess Kushinada. Believe it or not, Momiji, the first Kushinada I located was you. I had lived in Izumo with Oroboshi-no-Oroboshi, so of course I found you first. Do you remember that day?  
    No, of course not. You were all of three years old when I met you, after all.  
    "Oi, ojou-chan," I called from a tree. Your grandmother and mother were having tea inside their shrine while you played in the courtyard. Kaede had already been moved to Tokyo, with Kunikida-kun and the TAC, so as far as I knew you were the only Kushinada. "Ojou-chan, go out of your mother's and grandmother's sight."  
    You stared at me blankly, cocking your head to one side.  
    I hopped down from the the tree, sighing, then snatched you up and bounced around to the side of the shrine with no windows. I took you by the hands, looked into your abnormally bright, large green eyes, and did as Oroboshi-no-Oroboshi had taught me to detect Kushinada blood. My mitama glowed, seeking out the active Kushinada blood in your veins. However...  
    You were dormant.  
    To me, that meant no one could sense you were a Kushinada unless they had seven to eight mitama. I only knew of two people who could detect your blood at that point in time: me, and Oroboshi-no-Oroboshi, who shared mitama with me.  
    "You're safe, ojou-chan," I told you, picking you up, setting you where you were a few moments ago, and bounding into the tree.  
    "Momiji," you said.  
    I stared at you, turning on my heel to face you. "Nani?"  
    "Atashi no namae wa Fujimiya Momiji desu," you told me proudly.  
    I smirked, not caring you were only three years old. "Boku wa kimi no mamoru desu."  
    "Mamoru?" you caught my gaze and held it.  
    "Hai," I nodded.  
    "You will protect me?" you asked earnestly.  
    "In the future," I shrugged.  
    "Oh," you just watched me.  
    I turned to leave.  
    "Bai-bai, Mamoru-san!" you called after me.  
    And that is how I got my name. From that moment on, I named myself Kusanagi Mamoru, Protector of the Kushinada. I liked the ring of it, so I never forgot our first encounter.  
    After that, I went in search of your sister, Kaede, knowing that if you were dormant then there _had_ to be an active Kushinada or Japan would peril. My search brought me to the mercy of more than one or two Aragami in search of Kaede for the same reasons. I would have damned myself further if I would let them get to the Kushinada before I did.  
    You see, Momiji, it wasn't until I met you that I fully wanted to protect the Kushinada. Kaede _did_ stir something in me once, but I never wanted to always protect her because I knew of you. Something told me that you and I would meet again one day, and hopefully under peaceful circumstances. But I knew the Kushinada legend, I knew that the legend said that _the_ Kushinada would marry Susano-oh. _The_ meaning one. One person, one Kushinada. One woman. We had two Kushinada on our hands. I wasn't stupid, no matter how much I would berate myself later on and you would hit me for it. I knew something big would happen, once you two came of age.  
  
I went back to Oroboshi-no-Oroboshi that night instead of going straight in search of Kadae. After all, Oroboshi-no-Oroboshi owned me. He raised me to report everything back to him. He owned me, he ruled me, he _was_ me as far as I was to know. I was him, a lesser form of his great godlike self. I knew I could overpower him, deep in the back of my mind, but it never occured to me.  
    I had no personality until I met Kaede.  
    "Kusanagi," Oroboshi-no-Oroboshi watched me with a careful eye. "What do you bring me?"  
    "The Kushinada in Izumo is dormant, Master," I told him, bowing. I knelt on one knee, my hands placed on the ground like a track runner.  
    All of Oroboshi-no-Oroboshi's sixteen eyes nearly bugged out of his head when I told him that. He pushed his face up into mine, forcing me to my feet and stumbling back a step or two. "_The Kushinada in Izumo_?!" he roared. "The one in Izumo?! There's more than one?!"  
    "H-hai, Oroboshi-no-Oroboshi-sama," I stammered.  
    He let lose a mighty screech that rattled the trees and shook the ground beneath my feet, bringing forth my Aragami claws just to keep myself attached to the ground. "_Two_ of them!" he rounded on me again and pushed me over with one of his feet, pinning me to the ground. "_Two_ Kushinada. Two! Kusanagi, _where is the other one_?!"  
    "I...I haven't found her yet," I choked out.  
    "You _WHAT_?!" Oroboshi-no-Oroboshi demanded, impressing the outline of my body and each contour into the ground. "How _dare_ you come to me without information of the Kushinada's whereabouts!"  
    I wheezed, trying to catch my breath. "I...I wanted to..." I had to pause so I could catch my breath. "To inform you...of...their exist...existance."  
    He looked me in the eyes with four of his. "You wanted to inform me of their existance. You came to me, telling me that there's _a_ dormant Kushinada in Izumo."  
    "Hai," I choked, Oroboshi-no-Oroboshi finally releasing me. I coughed and stood, kneeling again shortly thereafter. "Master, I can find the Princess Kushinada soon. I swear to you. I swear by my mitama."  
    "I don't care if you swear," he rumbled. "Just find the Kushinada. Protect the Kushinada."  
    "Protect the Kushinada," I murmured. "Protect the Kushinada." Like a robot. "Protect the Kushinada."  
    "Be off with you, Kusanagi," he ordered, watching me back up slowly and jump down the hill from tree branch to tree branch.  
    Quite frankly, it scared me to see my master distraught as he seemed. He was the only other being I had ever had contact with except for you as long as I could remember. Suddenly, I was expected to watch over a Kushinada; one whose life hung the balance between the human and Aragami population? One whose life meant life or death to _us_?  
    I resolved to watch the Kushinada from afar, rather than introduce myself and meet her, let her know that I protected her.  
    Now I just needed to find the Kushinada.  
    That sounded so much easier than it felt.  
    I went back to your shrine then, Momiji. I jumped back into the tree and perched there, watching you laugh and play with your mother through the window. You would think that watching you playing with your mother would make me jealous, would make me long for my own mother, the one I never had, wouldn't you? But it didn't. All I knew was that I had to protect your sister, but for now I would protect you. This night I would protect _a_ Kushinada, regardless of your dormancy.  
    I watched you eat ramen with your mother and grandmother. I watched you pick up some of the noodles in your hand, giggle, shove some in your mouth, then throw the rest at your grandmother. The two of you laughed so hard. The two of you laughed so hard it made even me, the premature matured Aragami, crack a smile. I swear your eyes sparkled like two stars in the pitch black night, your smile warmed every inch of my body and I thought to myself: _This is why I will protect the Kushinada. The Kushinada is the light of the human world and the warmth in the cold of the Aragami world._  
    At least, you were. Kaede had a smile less irradiant than yours, but it made you want to smile back anyway. Her eyes saw the sadness of the world, her eyes held that sadness. She wanted to heal that sadness by making it her own. Eventually that drove her to madness, as we well know. Kaede also moved with a grace born of tragedy, born of longing, born of sadness and wishes and little happiness. Momiji...I love you but...I miss Kaede. I miss the Kaede who gave me my personality. I miss the Kaede that loved me, I miss the Kaede that treasured every suffering life and gave it reason to live. I miss the Kaede who became my own savior.  
    But for the hours I sat in that tree, watching you, protecting your dormant Kushinada blood, I was warm, and I felt loved for the first time in my life. I always felt loved with you, Momiji, even when you were so young. After you finished eating, your mother took you by the hand out into the courtyard of the shrine and began to light the paper lanterns with you, forcing me farther up into the trees and further back into the shadows. I didn't want you to see me, as I had resolved earlier, but should anything, _anything_ attack you, or even _attempt_ to attack you, I would be on it in seconds.  
    "Okaa-san!" you cried suddenly.  
    "What, Momiji?" your mother laughed. She had the same tinkling, golden laughter like a stream that you did. She made me smile too, and I realized that she too had Kushinada blood in her. Not enough to become the Kushinada herself, but enough to bear the Kushinada children.  
    "Okaasan, I wanna play out here!" you broke free of your mother's hand and spun around, laughing. I smiled again, envying the night which caressed your every moment, jealous of the ground you stepped on that got to touch the precious Princess Kushinada. "Onegaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Okaasan!"  
    Your mother smiled at you, patted your hair and kissed your forehead. "All right, Momiji. If you need me, just yell, okay?"  
    "I won't need anything, Okaasan! I promise! Besides, Mamoru-san is here to protect me!" you pointed up into the trees and spun around again, finally dizzy and falling over on your butt. You blinked back tears, looked at your mother who had run over to try and help you, and gave her the brightest, bravest smile I had ever seen on any three-year-old to this day. "Daijoubu, okaasan!"  
    Your mother sighed, relieved. "All right, Momiji. I'm going inside now, all right?"  
    "'Kay!" you agreed, watching your mother go inside. Then you walked to the base of my tree and looked up directly at me. "Konbanwa, Mamoru-san!"  
    I blanched. "...Konbanwa, Momiji."  
    "Come down here, Mamoru-san!" you grinned at me. "Let's play!"  
    My eyebrow and eye twitched at the same time. "Err...why don't you play by yourself, Momiji? I'll make sure no monsters get you."  
    You pouted at me with pink little lips and jutted your chin out. "Mamoru-saaaaaaaaaan..."  
    I rolled my eyes. "No, Momiji. I don't want to play."  
    You turned and stalked away from me. I watched you run to the shadows on the other side of the courtyard, and a few minutes of silence later, you came tearing out, shrieking. My heart pounded, fear and anger fizzing through my veins as I jumped out of the tree and gathered you in my arms. "What is it?!" I demanded.   
    "A dragon!" you answered, trying your hardest not to smile as all four of my eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. "A dragon's chasing me, Mamoru-san! You have to protect the princess, don't you? I'm the princess! Let's go kill the dragon!"  
    Somehow you roped me into playing Protect the Princess From the Dragon, and I think I actually had fun. I don't think I ever remembered to thank you for that night, for that half-hour or forty-five minutes in which you let me be a little kid. I think I had to "disappear" before I thanked you, and you had to explain to your mother that you were playing with "Mamoru-san", who you couldn't locate. Or, rather, your mother couldn't. You looked right at me, cocked your head to the side, tugged at your mother's hand and pointed.  
    "He's right there, okaasan!" you insisted. Your mother peered, but every time she got close to finding me I shrank farther into the shadows. Finally, you got frustrated and gave up, waving to me as your mother took you back inside.  
    I sat outside your window and watched you sleep. I sound like a stalker, but I didn't know how to go about protecting someone. I had never interacted with anyone but Oroboshi-no-Oroboshi before, and Oroboshi-no-Oroboshi demanded respect from me. He demanded respect, or I would face the consequences that I never cared to find out. He treated me like a robot or a mindless soldier. He treated me as something programmable, and I was until Kaede. Kaede changed my life...regardless, Oroboshi-no-Oroboshi never treated me like anything resembling a sentinent being. I don't think I can explain exactly how you made me feel that night, I don't think I could ever express it, but I'll try.  
    It felt like the world had opened up and the sky sang. Birds chirped--well, actually, they didn't because night reigned. I can't exactly explain it in terms anyone but myself would understand, as I said. But nonetheless, I saw the world in a different light. I saw the world in the light of the Kushinada.  
    During the middle of the night, you woke up. Your turned over and stared at your wall, frowning in confusion. Then you looked out of your window, caught sight of me, and waved. Startled, I waved back at you, not understanding this exchange of gestures. I couldn't understand why you decided to allow _me_ into your life, to trust a man with four eyebrows and the eyes of a cat, no questions asked.  
    "Mamoru-san," you grinned tauntingly as you opened your window. "Want to come in, Mamoru-san?"  
    I jumped down from the tree and walked over to square opening to the shrine. "Shouldn't you be asleep?"  
    "I'd sleep better with you in here," you pouted at me, reaching up and grabbing my hand with one of yours. "I'm safe with you."  
    I pursed my lips. "All right, Momiji."  
    You smiled at me and released my hand, moving out of the way as I climbed through the window. I picked you up and set you on your bed, watching you crawl under the covers head first and surface moments later with your head on your pillow.  
    "Tuck me in, Mamoru-san," you ordered.  
    Two of my eyebrows twitched upward. Wordlessly, I pulled your covers up, feeling awkward beyond awkward. You smiled, tugged on my arm, and as soon as I got close enough you kissed me on the cheek. "Oyasumi, Mamoru-san."  
    You fell asleep again.  
    It was then I felt my mitama hum against my skin, the familiar beckoning call of Oroboshi-no-Oroboshi. How dare he summon me as I was just protecting the Kushinada?! Every fiber in my body told me not to disobey Oroboshi-no-Oroboshi and that you would be absolutely fine for the night because of your dormancy. Against my better judgment, I slipped out of the window and and walked along the mountain path up to your shrine's cave. I could see Oroboshi-no-Oroboshi's shrine from the mouth of the cave, and the air up there seemed to clear my head.  
    The shrine in which Oroboshi-no-Oroboshi stayed in sight, I took a deep breath and jumped into the trees, making my way to the shrine.  
  
"What do you think you're doing, Kusanagi?" Oroboshi-no-Oroboshi sat in front of me, all of his sixteen eyes focused on me.  
    "I...I was protecting the Kushinada, Master," I averted my eyes to the ground, knowing I had done wrong.  
    "Did you lie to me, Kusanagi?" he pressed.  
    "No, Master, I didn't lie to you," I answered quietly.  
    "Then _why are you protecting a dormant Kushinada_?!" he burst suddenly, reaching out with one of his heads to wrap around me.  
    "I didn't know where to start looking for the active Kushinada, Master. I also wanted to check and see if her mother was the active Kushinada," I mumbled.  
    Oroboshi-no-Oroboshi seethed. He prowled back and forth in front of me, releasing me from his neck. "Your orders are to protect the Kushinada. The _ active_ Kushinada, not a _dormant_ one!"  
    "I will leave now, Master," I conceded. _But I don't want to leave...the Kushinada here needs me too._  
    "Leave _right_ now," Oroboshi-no-Oroboshi snarled.  
    "Hai, Master," I agreed.  
    He glared at me until I picked up my feet and took off, thoughts racing through my head as fast as my feet traveled. What could I do? Oroboshi-no-Oroboshi would know if I didn't go to the Kushinada! I wanted so badly to stay in the warmth cascading from you, Momiji. I think I may have fallen in love with you then, rather than later...  
    I decided to stop by your shrine before I left to go find your sister. I peered through the window to see you awaken. You waved me into the room, and I climbed through.  
    "Mamoru-san?" you asked groggily. "Why did you go outside?"  
    I swallowed down some harsh words. "Momiji, I have to leave now."  
    You cocked your head to the side. "Why, Mamoru-san?"  
    "Someone else needs me right now," I explained. "If I don't go to them, they could get hurt. Or they could get killed."  
    "Oh," you looked confused as you nodded. "Will I see you again, Mamoru-san?"  
    "I don't know. Not very soon, Momiji. Maybe in a few years," I shrugged.  
    "Okay," you threw your arms around me and hugged me tightly. "Sayonara, Mamoru-san. Please come back soon."  
    I nodded. "Back to sleep with you."  
    You scrambled back into bed, pulling your covers over your head and yelling goodbye to me as I jumped out of the window and closed it behind me. I bounded up to your mountain again, familiar with the terrain already. I didn't know what would happen if I decided to step inside of the cave, but I knew it a holy place if only by its decorations. I sat, feeling dawn approaching in an hour or so, and meditated. I fell into the pulsation of my mitama, felt the thrum of my blood rushing through my veins. They synchronized within moments, calling out to the active Kushinada's blood.  
    My eyes snapped open a few moments later, my body taut. "Tokyo," I breathed. "The Kushinada's in Tokyo...of course!"  
  
_To be continued..._


End file.
